Day 12 of uploading to the blog everyday.
And it's been four days since the last time we went through my iPhone notes, so you know what that means.
I came up with a name for this segment too: Me, myself and iPhone E-notes.
I know it's shit but you didn't come up with anything better, did you?
Since last time, it has also been decided that I will not select or skip notes for any reason. Instead I will simply write up ten notes in the order they appear on my phone, regardless of whether or not they make sense.
As I go further back into my notes, there's an increased chance that I'll forget why I wrote them. So this segment is guaranteed to only get worse as we go along. Hooray!
Note 1: Beer and bloating in gas vegas
An indigestion influenced Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas spoof or something. I don't know. I do this quite a lot, taking a title and changing the words to fit a certain theme. Similar to the previously featured note "Harry Cobbler and The Trainer of Sneakers".
Completely meaningless nonsense.
Note 2: Wait, there was a second world war?
I like the idea of somebody knowing about the first world war but not knowing there was a second one. I can imagine it being said by the dumb character in a film or sitcom or something. It's one of those simple jokes that has 100% being used elsewhere before. If in doubt, assume it's in The Simpsons.
Note 3: Posthumous/post-humus
I don't like humus but it seems to be a funny food item. Beans is the same. Monkeys used to be the go-to funny animal for while. Remember?
Anyway, I'm sure there is a joke to be made about the guy who invented humus dying or something and his invention being released posthumously.
Note 4: Child safety zone sign - child safety zone ends sign
Driving not too long ago I saw a child safety zone sign as we went past a school. I like the idea of there being a child safety zone end sign later on down the road that's just littered with dead run over children. There might be a very simple sketch in this premise somewhere.
Note 5: Baghead area sled checkout
Your guess is as good as mine.
Note 6: Can Abyss
Hey, did you ever notice that cannabis sounds like can abyss? No? That's because it's completely useless information. Waste of time.
Note 7: Pyrrhic
Sometimes, if I'm not in a position to google the meaning of a word I don't know, I'll make a note of it and Google it later. Pyrrhic is an adjective and means (of a victory) won at too great a cost to have been worthwhile for the victor.
There you are then, you've learned a new word. Unless you knew it already. Good word though. Could come in handy during a low-vowel Scrabble round.
Note 8: On the highest thrown in the world man sits on his arse
I'll also make notes of quotes that I like. I read this somewhere but I can't remember where. I think it serves as a nice reminder that everybody shits.
Note 9: Edward finger hands
This was the result of one of those really good conversations with friends where you chat absolute bollocks. We laughed hysterically at the idea of Edward finger hands, a film about a normal guy in which nothing happens.
Note 10: Male fraud mail fraud
Always end on a high. This is about as poor a joke premise as you can get.
What even is mail fraud? I know I could just Google it but, like, what actually is it?
See you in four days iPhone note fans.
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