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The Gardener Inspired by Diet Coke's 2013 TV campaign 'The Gardener' Etta James 'I Just Want To Make Love To You' or equivalently libidinous song soundtracks the scene: A picturesque park on a warm summers day. An elevated view establishes the presence of a hill. This all looks and sounds familiar? PAN DOWN to five women sat on top of the hill, socialising. CLOSE UP of the five women: 40ish, professional, attractive. They giggle, chat. WOMAN-1 turns down the hill to watch som

*NB: This unpublished and hereto unseen review was written many years ago for Exposed Magazine’s June 2023 edition. Karmode insists "spineless" editor Joe Food blacklisted him from publication after "cowing to the will of philistinic money-grubbing advertisers", although Food insists he could not have used the piece because he received it unfinished over a week past deadline. Records align with Food. 50 years is a really long time. A 50-year-old person is well on their way to

“Sit down whenever you can”. Those are the words of the great Leslie Nielsen, carved into a bench at the sight of his grave. introduction When it comes to memorialisation, a bench is often deemed the perfect object, one that naturally encourages contemplation and remembrance. And yet, the names and two dates etched or carved into the places we sit are almost unanimously overlooked; the little information they give only an indication to a life whole and unique; a story waiting

When the words world and weary were first combined in the 1750s to describe those disillusioned with life through over-exposure or over-familiarity, pixels were 200 years off invention. News and information travelled only as fast as people, which was slow, uncomfortable and at great expense. To be overexposed to everything life had to offer was not only difficult but, in many respects, a privilege - one only afforded to those with enough money to introduce themselves to new

Casabalancarr A misguided continuation of the BBC’s glaringly transparent attempts to massage every globule of pecuniary milk from the shrivelled teat of Alan Carr’s recent post-Traitors popularity boost. This shot-for-shot remake of revered 1942 romantic drama Casablanca has the bespectacled Chatty Man host CGI’d into every single role. Other significant changes will come in the form of occasional script edits like “play it again, Alan” and “here’s looking at you, Alan” and