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Weird Science (1985) Review; or, The Modern Modern Prometheus

Updated: Jul 29, 2022

One of the notable features of Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein (1818) which has allowed it to permeate the consciousness of its readers for over 200 years is the timelessness of its precautionary message; can science go too far? Has it gone too far already? Shelley’s tale of playing God and its horrifying consequences focuses on the life of Victor Frankenstein, a man whose unaddressed grief forces him down a path of scientific obsession, one that leads him to the holy grail of human achievement: the creation and animation of sentient human life.


In Weird Science (1985), involuntarily celibate best-friends Wyatt and Gary manipulate a then-advanced-now-laughably-antiquated home computer system to design an unrealistically attractive woman that they can both jerk off to.


It’s difficult to know what Shelley would have thought of Weird Science, or what she would have thought of film in general, or home computers, or Anthony Michael Hall. It’s a shame, had she not been dead for a hundred and fifty years we could have asked her. Instead I guess we'll just have to read what she wrote when she was alive and figure it out for ourselves. Or half-heartedly skim over her Wikipedia and get a gist of what she was about…


Yep, looks like she would have loved all of them! Except Anthony Michael Hall. He was probably a bit too goofy for her. Then again, I bet Percy was kinda goofy. Wait what am I on about? Oh yeah, film review.


If you like films that make you go, “how the fuck did they get funding for this?” Or, “what?” Or, “wait, is that racist?” Then you’ll love Weird Science. It’s one big clumsy cluster fuck of goof created for the dorkiest period in history.


See, while nerds were once the subject of ridicule and general disinterest, films in the 80s started to portray them as loveable, quirky socially awkward types, encouraged to express themselves free of the insurmountable societal pressure to fit in. Of course, it was only later, after several public beatings, that nerds realised the nerdy characters on screen were played not by nerds and social rejects but by popular hubristic brats who excelled in drama and only ever got their own way. You know, the ones that wouldn’t actually acknowledge anyone below their own social standing unless it was to pity or patronise.


Ahhh, school. Or something. I don’t know - there is very little to say about this film.


To summarise: horny incels make attractive magic lady. Chaos ensues. Chaos is resolved. Protagonists kiss popular school girls. Subplots are resolved. A handful of characters complete something resembling an arch. Magic attractive lady becomes PE teacher. Freeze frame. Credits roll. Wank. Sleep.


Watch it on BBC iPlayer now! (Dependent on when you are reading this.)


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