Day 3 of uploading something to the blog every day. I have officially done better then I expected.
So I'm currently trying to get my head around a piece on Nicolas Cage. Yesterday we watched "Pig", which was phenomenal, and today we watched "Willy's Wonderland", which was phenomenally bad. I want to write an essay on the inconsistency of Nicolas Cage's output, and hopefully convince you he's the greatest actor of all time. But that's going to take a while and I need to upload something daily.
So, instead, here's something I wrote last week for a friend. He works at Street Food Chef and recently got a negative review accusing him of serving his friends before other paying customers. To rectify this, I decided to write a glowing review for the establishment. It's a little over the top, but nothing is fabricated. I do genuinely love the place.
The Review
Only two things in life are certain:
1) I will literally never, for any reason, set foot in Champs*
2) A Sharrow Street Food Chef Burrito will bang
When Buckin' Burrito on Eccy Road closed down a couple years ago, I was left with a huge burrito shaped hole in my life - a huge burrito shaped hole I assumed impossible to fill. However, stumbling across Sharrow Street Food Chef has been a revelation akin to that of Jim Carrey at the end of The Truman Show, hitting the horizon with his storm-battered boat and realising his entire life has been lived as a lie. If, in some miraculous act of God, Buckin' Burrito was to return to Sheffield, I wouldn't even bother going back. Such is the excellence of Sharrow Street Food Chef.
The staff are simultaneously polite, approachable, competent and physically attractive, which makes the entire process from start to finish a pleasurable one. The little street-side collection window allows you to observe the entire operation as your food is prepared, a process similar to that of having a child and watching it develop gracefully into a human being. (Probably, I don't actually have any children. That I know of.)
My only issue with Sharrow Street Food Chef? I wish there was space to sit in and eat, purely because this is where I would bring all my future dates. I'm convinced that any girl I'd taken to this beautiful establishment would be so impressed by my choice of eatery that she'd immediately fall desperately in love with me; swooning in the submission of my excellence like a leper falling at the feet of Jesus.
Also, sell merch. I want a Street Food T-shirt.
Five stars.
*Sports bar local to Sheffield. A shit hole.
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