Wolf-whistling could be made a crime in the UK as attempts to reduce acts of 'public sexual harassment' continue. The shocking murder of Sarah Everard earlier in the year forced government officials to consider whether further measures should be taken to prevent violence against women and girls, and now they are finally outlining potential strategies for doing so.
Personally, I am in full support of any measures brought in to make women and girls feel safer. I am repeatedly shocked and appalled by the actions of some disgusting individuals and am equally annoyed when those actions go unpunished.
However - and there is a however - I can’t help but voice an issue I have with criminalising wolf-whistles. It’s to do with how the law is enforced...
Sure, it’ll be standard practice when it comes to arresting or fining culprits - as with any other law or legislation - but what about actual wolves?
These days it feels like you can’t walk down the street without passing a whistling wolf. I couldn’t get on the bus the other day because every seat was taken up by a wolf, each one with puckered lips and blasting out a high pitched toot.
And it’s worse in the north, isn’t it? Go anywhere beyond Hadrian’s Wall and you’ll be lucky to get any sleep for all the bleedin’ wolves whistling away. My parents live in Aberdeen and have had to soundproof their caravan. Up there, Monty Python’s ‘always look on the bright side of life’ is like a soundtrack to the city eternally on repeat.
Have you watched Game of Thrones? The thing that struck me was just how few of the wolves were whistling. Like, I get it’s a fantasy series but k’mon! Inject a little realism and at least make some of the wolves whistle. These lefty media executives are always trying to portray wolves as silent and innocent, but if they ever came down from their gold-plated gated communities they’d realise what wolves are really like: loud whistley inconsiderate fuckers.
So what is the local bobby going to do when confronted with a whistling wolf? Are they going to ask them to stop? Arrest them? I doubt it. I wouldn’t want to ask a wolf to stop whistling, they’d bite your head off. Or at least chew on it for a bit. Either way, you’re not coming out of that interaction alive. The only possible way to enforce the legalisation of wolf-whistling would be to have specially trained wolf communicators and handlers on the force, and who is going to pay for that? The taxpayer? I don’t fucking think so. Not with all our taxes already going to help wolves in other countries.
Looks like this one needs a bit more consideration. Other than that, glad to see women’s rights and safety being taken seriously for once. Good on you Boris.
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