Etta James 'I Just Want To Make Love To You' or equivalently libidinous song soundtracks the scene:
A picturesque park on a warm summers day. An elevated view establishes the presence of a hill. This all looks and sounds familiar?
PAN DOWN to five women sat on top of the hill, socialising.
CLOSE UP of the five women: 40ish, professional, attractive. They giggle, chat. WOMAN-1 turns down the hill to watch something off screen.
WIDE: An abhorrently attractive 30-something GARDENER mowing grass in the sun. His LAWNMOWER is inexplicably old and pushed by hand - not the large modern ride-on lawnmowers the council would likely employ for such an enormous park. Anyway.
Back to the gaggle of women. WOMAN-1 looks lustful, gets the attention of WOMAN-2 and reaches into a bag. She pulls out the unmistakable blue of a HEINZ BAKED BEANS TIN. She shows it to WOMAN-2.
Fast CLOSE UP of THE TIN in a perfectly manicured hand.
Back to WOMAN-2 smiling mischievously to WOMAN-1, approving of the unspoken plan. WOMAN-1 rolls THE TIN down the hill.
SLOW MO: THE TIN rolls and bounces through the grass and summer flowers, sending moisture and bees and flower seeds up into the perfect summer air.
SLOW MO: TIGHT SHOT of the attractive GARDENER pushing his antiquated LAWNMOWER. Grass cuttings shoot up and away to his side.
SLOW MO: Back to THE TIN, rolling and bouncing with inexplicable condensation.
SLOW MO: CLOSE UP of the pushed LAWNMOWER - an old petrol-guzzling beast of a machine which, being old and constructed long before any notion of basic health and safety regulation, appears incredibly unsafe.
Back to THE TIN, which rolls and stops in front of the path of the LAWNMOWER.
CUT to the group of women. The lustful and mischievous looks of WOMAN-1 and WOMAN-2 slowly fade to those of growing concern.
Back to THE STATIONARY TIN, as the lawnmower draws closer.
WIDE: The gardener takes two strides with his lawnmower.
KABOOOOOM!
The MUSIC CUTS OUT. We only hear the long echoes of an explosion. Simultaneous CUT to the women.
The rest of the women are now looking down hill - confusion turns to shock. WOMAN-1 stares unblinking, unmoving, transfixed - a look of stunned incomprehension tempered by a creeping consideration for the incredibly damning legal ramifications. WOMAN-2 starts to SCREAM HYSTERICALLY.
The MUSIC eventually cuts back in alongside the SCREAMING.
CLOSE UP: a patch of the summer grass is slightly on fire. In the blurred background, unidentifiable parts of the GARDENER descend from the sky in chunks.
The small patch of fire is is put out by a dollop of baked beans also falling from the sky. A severely gnarled but still recognisable HEINZ BAKED BEAN TIN lands near the smoking beans IN FOCUS as the sounds of SCREAMING and COMMOTION break through.
TEXT fades onto screen: "Heinz Baked Beans - Not to be thrown".
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